I can't get rid of depression?

I am going to 10th grade and I got in depression when I was 7th grade. After going to psychologists and using medicines I had a good life at 8th and 9th grades. Now I am in 10th grade and I am really depressed even though using medicines and going to psychologists. I get sad to anything, I feel like I fail at life all the time, I always feel like all the hope is gone. If I see something bad on my body such as a spot on my face I start to make it bigger like ''none of the girls will like me, I will die ugly, I will have a bad life.'' Sometimes I feel really good and say ''yeah I got rid of it again'' but after an hour I get worse again. Whenever I am at home I feel like I am a failure about everything on earth and When I am out I feel better but I know I can't stay out all the time. I think about suicidal often. I always see the empty side of the glass and I always find a bad thing in a good thing. I can't be optimist and I am always hopeless. Please don't tell me go to psychologist or something because I lost my belief into medicines and psychologists. I want to solve this on my own. Please tell me the ways of getting rid of it because I don't think I can hold on anymore.